Dealing with grief

In addition to all of the practical issues which need to be dealt with following the death of a loved one, this is a time which brings up a wide range of difficult emotions. Everyone grieves in a different way depending on how close they were to the deceased person but there are common experiences along the grief journey:

· Initially, your main emotions might be that of numbness or disbelief. It may seem like a bad dream from which you are unable to wake up. You may feel a sense of relief, particularly if the person had been suffering for a long time. You might also experience a bewildering mix of anger, fear, sadness and guilt or simply feel overwhelmed by everything you need to do and how you will deal with the future, particularly if you have lost a partner.

· Whatever you are feeling, remember that it is completely normal and a vital part of the grieving process. The most important thing is to give yourself time to think rather than rushing into making any major decisions. Lean on friends and family and accept any help offered, even if it is just making you a cup of tea or walking the dog

You might find that people, in their desire to help, are trying to make decisions which should really be made by you. For example, clearing out your loved one’s clothes before you have had a chance to look at them. Clothes are obviously a very intimate part of someone’s belongings so you may want to go through them yourself, deciding which to keep and which to pass on or send to the charity shop. If this is the case, just explain that there are some things which you need to do yourself as part of your grief journey.

Everyone has different experiences of grief and these change throughout the grieving journey, varying in intensity, sometimes for no apparent reason. It is important to remind yourself that there is no rule book for grief – trust your instincts and do what feels most appropriate for you.

Grief is such an intense experience that it can affect us in many different ways, including our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

If you need further advice or have any questions please call us on:

0300 13 123 53