Emotional Impact

The emotional impact of a bereavement can be the hardest part of losing someone you love. Some people describe the grieving journey as being a series of stages which can include:

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· Denial - “I can’t believe it; this can’t be real.”

· Anger - “How could they leave me? Why didn’t they go see a doctor sooner?”

· Bargaining - “If I could just have one more day with them, I would….”

· Depression - “Life is so bleak now. What’s the point of going on?”

· Acceptance - “I need to find different ways to get through each day.”

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Some of the thoughts people experience may not be entirely rational but they do help us to move through the grieving process as they are strategies our mind uses to process the trauma of bereavement. However, not everyone experiences every stage and some find that they experience the stages in a different order, often revisiting stages a few times. Sometimes the emotions are so intense that people try to avoid them altogether, damping down any negative feelings because they are so painful. Many people describe grief as coming in a series of waves – one day you might feel quite positive and then the next feel overwhelmed with sadness. Over time, you will probably find that the extremes of emotions tend to lessen, making it easier to deal with everyday life. As you continue your journey through grief, there are some points which might help:

· Remember to be kind to yourself. You are going through one of the most traumatic times anyone can experience so don’t place too many demands on yourself. Let other people help if possible and remember to ask for help when you need it.

· Remember to give yourself time to grieve; for some people this takes a lot longer than others. There is no set time as we are all different.

· Consider what you will do on significant dates or events (for example, birthdays, anniversary of the death, Christmas etc). These can intensify feelings of grief in the weeks leading up to the date as well as on the day itself and indeed the following days so it is important to plan ahead how you will deal with this. Some people gather together to remember happier times with the person who has died, go for a long walk, spend some time at the graveside. Whatever you decide, remember that your experience is unique and so whatever you decide to do, or not do, is absolutely fine.

· In time, the more intense feelings will pass and you will learn to adjust to your new reality. You may find that you don’t experience such intense feelings of sadness every day or perhaps find yourself smiling or laughing. This is all completely normal and part of the journey so don’t feel guilty about it.

If you need further advice or have any questions please call us on:

0300 13 123 53